Emotionally immature people have a hard time dealing with shame, guilt, or disappointment. I don’t think that Sheila and my daughters were born more emotionally mature than me, nor intrinsically better at developing emotional maturity over time. Is there any way to test your emotional maturity? If the toddler doesn't get her way, she might scream, nag, stomp, and fall on the floor in a fit of rage and frustration. Put yourself in his/her shoes and figure out the reason behind an attitude or remark that you think is “wrong.”. Not sure how to go about it? Many people believe that first impressions are everything. For emotionally mature individuals, a failed business or a relationship that has come to an end is part of the journey, not the end of the world. . Unfortunately, the less responsibility you take for how you feel, the less control you have over your feelings. You know how to apologize when you’ve done wrong. In short, maturity is a choice we can all make little by little, day by day. I’m going to suggest that our key moments are how we develop emotional maturity. The more we’re willing to take charge of our behavior, the more we find connection and true belonging. One of the most important steps in figuring out how to develop emotional maturity involves acknowledging when you are wrong. Life is not a fairy tale where magic wands do wonders. You’re also not interested in being seen as “perfect” all the time. It’s challenging for them to exercise control over their reactions, given how little attention they pay to their emotional reactions. But he also notes, that sometimes achieving the emotional maturity required for Kindergarten may simply take time. I’m talking about those situations when something or someone has upset you, and instead of sitting with your emotions, you resort to all kinds of avoidance behaviors. 2. Becoming conscious of when we’re feeling bad about ourselves can give us the agency to make change. When you develop emotional maturity, life becomes a joy rather than a chore. A pleasant walk, a tasty meal, a friendly smile from your neighbor, the bus arriving right on time; these are the moments when you should pause and enjoy them. Based on the theory of CBT, we put together a guide to help you weed…, How do you know if changes in mood are normal, a sign of a mental health condition, or related to your hormones? Not necessarily to change them, but to learn to live with them. Here are a few key points to help you develop emotional maturity: Mistakes are mistakes. … Did you wish them well and ask how you could help them celebrate, or did you withdraw and become annoyed at them for sharing details? We don’t become more mature when the waters of life are calm and placid and everything is going our way. Emotional maturity is difficult to develop, but can be learned. 8 ways to develop emotional maturity. Objectively speaking, some emotions are more challenging to tolerate than others. Mature people do not spend time blaming others for their problems. Not taking responsibility for your feelings and actions is a guaranteed way to remain emotionally immature for the rest of your life. People ignore the role emotional maturity plays within a relationship because with emotional maturity comes the requirement of being self controlled and responsible for your actions and inactions. But aside from owning your shortcomings and failures, another sign of emotional maturity is to work on them actively. The correct … Even if they don’t have all the answers, an emotionally mature individual gives off a sense of “calm amid the storm.” They’re the ones we look to when going through a difficult time because they perform well under stress. With this journal, you will build a powerful daily gratitude habit and re-discover all the great things that are already in your life. For tips on how to develop effective emotional regulation strategies, I strongly recommend this guide. From binge-watching and binge eating to shopping, mindless scrolling on social media, and substance abuse, modern society offers you a wide range of distractions. Nevertheless, I took on the challenge of browsing through the latest studies to see if there’s any evidence behind this assumption. This gives you more insight into how you can respond to a situation and what your needs are. Just because you don’t like to feel a certain way doesn’t mean it’s wise to avoid that feeling. You’re always willing to open up and share your own struggles so others feel less alone. You also need to be able to identify, and relate to, the emotions of others. They have the strength to carry on even during the toughest times of their lives. Have you ever wondered why some people can navigate their emotional spectrum smoothly, while others often end up feeling overwhelmed with regret, guilt, or shame? At first glance, it would be intuitive to assume that emotional maturity contributes to our overall sense of happiness and well-being. How to develop emotional maturity . These moments of playfulness allow you to cultivate positive emotions and experience a pure form of happiness. When you’re emotionally mature, you know very well that perfection is just a word that has absolutely no real-life application. This is the kind of mindset that drives you to better yourself. Check out our guide on protecting your emotional space. Nobody can stay on a winning streak forever, so it’s vital to handle setbacks with patience and self-compassion. You also don’t have the desire to be right all the time. Empathy. Learn about shared symptoms, challenges, therapy, and more. If you’ve got this far in the article and have found that some of the points above do not ring true for you, this certainly does not make you a bad person. Because the moment you think you’re perfect is the moment you stop growing. Furthermore, values and principles cultivate stability and facilitate decisions based on personal beliefs, not momentary emotional impulses. How to develop emotional maturity. You may feel irritable most of the day or have frequent…. There’s no invisible force that ‘settles the score’ when life doesn’t treat you the way you think it should. When we see someone we admire handling a setback smoothly, we’re much more likely to model their behavior. You Know Your Flaws Better Than Anyone Else, 5. Emotional maturity means being honest about your feelings and building trust with those around you because you don’t have an agenda. Having … Emotional maturity is a daily investment, a continuous awakening. Practice mindfulness. You’ll admit your mistakes and try to find ways of rectifying the situation. As a result, you tend to be highly reactive to people and circumstances that generate emotional discomfort. Humility is a tenet of emotional maturity. Supporting children to develop emotional maturity . As an emotionally mature individual, you know better than to judge a book by its cover, and you take the time to discover his/her real self. In a way, emotionally immature people can’t get over the fact that reality is rarely how they imagine it and that it’s them who need to adapt to the environment, not the other way around. Tip: Be curious about others; listen to their stories; keep an open mind; ask questions instead of making remarks; always seek to resonate with the emotional vibe that the other person is bringing into the conversation. Work over your stress and anxiety, and handle them. No excuses. Recognizing how you feel — whether sadness, anger, or embarrassment — can help you understand why you’re reacting the way you are. And this applies to every person on the planet. In a world that is often moving faster than we can keep up, it seems that few still have the patience to get to know a person. You Appreciate the Little Things in Life, 10. To do that, you must develop habits and strategies, but they’ll only work if you carry them out with willpower and humility. Critical parts of the brain like the prefrontal cortex — which helps curb risk-taking behavior — don’t fully develop until about the age of 25. Audio On Emotional Maturity Contributed by Our Friends at The School of Life. For emotionally immature individuals, feelings are a headache rather than an opportunity to understand themselves better. To quote John Haynes Holmes, “The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly. Don’t avoid it just to get momentary relief. 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